Today I want to share with you what I believe is a valuable resource for parents looking to raise spiritual kids regardless of their religious tradition. I have spoken to a number of parents recently who know that their current religious situation is not good for their kids, but they feel they have no reasonable alternative. Raising your kids outside of the structure of Sunday School and youth groups is daunting. We want our children to be part of a community that supports their moral and spiritual development. We value our rituals and having a routine. We value having a curriculum. Uplift kids will not solve all of these problems, but I believe it can be a big part of the puzzle for families looking to raise spiritually healthy kids.

“Uplift Kids grew out of a desire to expand transformative practices for children.” It is a curriculum that is meant for families to use in their homes, though I do know of at least one church youth group that uses it as well. What makes Uplift Kids different is that it doesn’t seek to follow any particular religious tradition, but takes a more universalist approach, drawing from a variety of wisdom traditions as well as the science of child development, mental health, and wellbeing. There is a large library of lessons that center around various aspects of spiritual, emotional, moral and social wellbeing that any person could benefit from. Examples include : Your Inner Compass, Forgiveness, Conflict, Journaling, and Grief. There are also mini lessons on different world religions and on a variety of holidays.

Each lesson begins with reading for the parents on the topic, and questions to ask yourself as you prepare the lesson. I love the invitation to process the concepts and emotions that come along with them, ensuring that you are bringing your best self to each lesson you teach. Next, there is a section on what the science says and another on what various wisdom traditions from around the world say, giving you a variety of perspectives to chose from. The actual lesson has an opening activity, sections for different age groups that you can mix and match to fit your family, and a closing activity.

One thing I love about Uplift Kids is that it is flexible enough to meet the needs of a variety of different belief systems. I’ve seen it used by atheists, Mormons, Quakers, and humanists. You can pick and chose what lessons your family needs and leave the rest. The lessons take 20-40 minutes depending on how many of the optional activities you do, which works great for families who are trying to replace an unhealthy church situation but haven’t found another youth program that works for them (check out this guide to evaluating a church youth program) They also offer daily devotionals where they break down a lesson over the course of a week into little 5 minute bites. I love using these as part of a family bedtime ritual.

Because Uplift Kids is non-dogmatic, they are a great middle ground for mixed-faith families. These are topics that are found across religions and they are taught in a way that respects a variety of perspectives. This also means they are great for parents who are going through their own times of doubt and uncertainty (see here for more about navigating a faith crisis as a parent), because they don’t require that you have all the answers or even to take a stand on a topic. It simply presents the information and invites you to have a discussion. Also, there are credentialed professionals such as therapists, psychologists, and social workers on the team so all lessons are evaluated to follow best practices. That means you can be reasonably assured that they are written in such a way that they will support what we know about the healthy development of children and families.

No one curriculum can replace all of the benefits that a structured spiritual community, but this can be one part of the puzzle that is raising spiritually healthy kids. It can provide some of the structure of Sunday school lessons or daily family scripture study without having to commit to a religious dogma. It can help bridge the gap in a mixed faith family. Even if you have a strong religious tradition and community, this is a great addition for families to bring some of these conversations home in a way that is evidence based and balanced. If you need more specific support, please consider booking spiritual coaching session.

The post Uplift Kids Review first appeared on Shanna Mae Spiritual Coaching.

Raising kids is hard, and it really helps to have a community to help. In fact, that’s a leading reason that people join churches. But, not all youth programs are created equally. How do you know if this will be a beneficial environment for your kids? Will it meet your needs? Here’s some things to consider:

Safety: 

1. Do the adults have background checks? These don’t catch everything, but it’s a bare minimum that all programs should have. 
2. What is their safety policy? Two deep leadership is the general standard in all programs.
3. What is their reporting policy? Concerns should be directly referred to the local authorities, not to internal systems. 
4. For larger programs, do they have files on the kids with emergency contacts, allergies, and a check in/check out procedure? 
5. Do the leaders take a training course on recognizing abuse? Here’s one I was really impressed with.

Community:

1. Are there kids the same ages as yours? 
2. Are the classes small enough for personal attention or large enough for peer interaction?
3. Does your child “vibe” with the other kids? With the teachers? Don’t’ discount it if your child is getting the creeps from a leader or another child. 
4. Kids change as they get older. Will this community be accepting if they come out as LGBTQ in the future? Are they accessible to those with disabilities? etc.

Values:

1. Do they center values over in-group/out-group thinking? Some programs spend a lot of time in boundary maintenance. In my opinion, a good children’s program spends more time actually teaching values rather than a specific dogma. Some red flags for me are teaching a “victim mindset” where the “world” is out to get the “believer”. It also is a red flag if we label who is and is not a true believer. That is different from teaching values, which are goals to strive towards, not measuring sticks to beat yourself with.
2. Do they treat everyone as deserving of love and belonging?  Beware of worthiness talk. Teaching excessive self-monitoring with the goal of being “worthy” can lead to serious mental health disorders in some children. A healthy program treats all people as worthy of love and belonging, even as they encourage them to be their best selves.
3. Do they engage in dangerous or unhealthy discipline? Exclusion and other shaming practices should never be used as a punishment. For example, a teen is suspected of being sexually “impure” and so is not allowed to go on any special trips for 6 months or must stand aside during rituals, that kind of treatment is highly damaging not only to the children that are excluded, but also to those that witness such treatment. Of course, physical forms of punishment are also unacceptable.

So what if you can’t find a program that checks all your boxes? Well, that’s where a lot of young families are right now. For more personalized help, I encourage you to book a coaching session and we can talk about your specific needs and what resources are out there for you and your family.

The post How to Evaluate a Church for a Healthy Children’s Program first appeared on Shanna Mae Spiritual Coaching.

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